Luba Chepurna: Ukraine: My Raped Motherland

Before I post any pictures today, let me just say this: I'm happy to be Ukrainian, endlessly grateful for the ability to speak this melodic language, be a part of our rich culture, understand Ukrainian poetry and books, sing our songs, know our painful history and belong to such a beautiful, deep, peaceful, warm and open nation.

If I were given a choice to be born wherever I wanted, I would pick my parents and my country.

No, I don't live there anymore. There are two things, which I don't want to deal with on a daily basis: a complete lack of self respect (and the lack of respect to others as a consequence), and our political situation, where criminals do, what they want because they are in power.

I left Ukraine five and a half years ago to follow my heart, which fell in love with San Diego, CA in the fall of 2006. Surviving on my own in a foreign country wasn't an easy task, yet I managed to enjoy my life and be happy, despite working three jobs and going to school. At the same time, I couldn't decide whether I wanted to stay in the US or to go back home. For over than three years I was contemplating between Ukraine and the USA and taking my life one day at a time.

Things have changed dramatically during the last president elections in both countries. The thing is that I'm liberal to the core of my being. Political orientation is not a choice, it's something I was born with. Hoping that Obama wins was as natural for me as breathing oxygen to me. Ukrainian political arena was a little more complicated. There was one main question: whom do we vote for? The choice whom NOT to vote for was obvious: the head of opposition at the time, who could barely speak up his mind and connect three words in a somewhat decent sentence. The guy, who was accused in armed robbery and gang rape before. Not him, PLEASE, just not him....

A little preface here:

We don't like to talk about this, but Ukraine is culturally, politically, religiously and economically divided country. There is East and West, which are very different. Western Ukraine is cleaner, friendlier, much better looking, more religious and patriotic part, where people still cherish traditions and speak Ukrainian daily. I happen to be from ugly, industrial, Russian speaking East. This doesn't change the fact that I love Ukraine, know Ukrainian and dislike Russian chauvinism.

Orange Revolution of 2004 was a national attempt to reunite once again around the idea of fair elections, patriotism and better conditions for everyone. In 2005 we were full of hope that Viktor Yushchenko and Yulia Tymoshenko will lead the country to a glorious future. This never happened. Now it was 2010 and the nation was helplessly and hopelessly trying to pick between Tymoshenko and Yanukovych.

I will never forget that day: I was sitting at work and browsing Internet as I came across Ukrainian news site, which said that Viktor Yanukovych has won president elections. I wanted to scream and cry. I couldn't do it at work. I was sitting in my cubicle, having terrible stomach cramps and suffocating instead. I refused to believe it. I left earlier that day to call my best friend, asking for news. She confirmed that the information I had was correct and refused to comment on it. She simply said: " I don't want to talk about it." I knew exactly how she felt. I called my mom afterwards to ask her how such thing could happen to our country. She got very defensive. She said that there was no alternative and that political force, which was in power at the time, didn't do shit anyway. I was devastated. I got it: people were so desperate that they voted for the opposition and chose to be blind about whom they selected and what the consequences might be. I stopped talking to my mom for several weeks. I got badly sick for three days. Something died inside of me. I lost faith in my country and decided to stay in the US.

I went home for the first time in five years in September 2012 to see my family and friends, be a guest at my best friend's wedding and hug my 89 year old grandma. To say that everybody gave me a cordial welcome - was to say nothing: I was bathing in love. It was also a time for parliament elections.

One more thing I need to say before I post those images: Ukraine is a beautiful country. We have two seas and two mountain chains, churches and castles, fields and forests, amazing nature and lovely urban landscape. Not so much the city I'm from. Zaporizhzhya is a place of over 100 industrial plants, which were built in 1920-ties and gave occupation to the majority of the population. In the past two years a lot of plants stopped working because of politico-economical situation. Unemployed folks went on the streets to drink beer and smoke cigarettes. Please don't ask me where they find the money to do that.

When I arrived to my native city, I had a culture shock and got depressed. For about three days I couldn't find a single thing my eyes could rest upon. Everything seemed to be ruined. The majority of pictures I'm posting today come from those first three days. I wasn't looking for ugliness, it simply screamed at me from every corner. I just captured what I saw.

Please don't be in a rush to accuse me in being negative, just share my pain.