"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk to blossom."

 I met my friend Ilona for a cup of tea yesterday. We talked how doing or not doing things, which are important to our future professional development, affect our emotional state. We shared some thoughts and examples from our daily lives.

 I shared a quote, which I've heard during Jen Rozenbaum's course about boudoir photography on creativelive.com: "Imperfect action is better than a perfect inaction."

 Ilona shared something, which I decided to write down and share with you, guys: "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."

 Now I'm sitting and telling myself both of those things, because I find thousand things to do, other than what is really important for my future right now: My Own  Photography Internet Site. It's been a while since I started working on it but I always come up with one more excuse why I can't complete it this week.

 The truth is that I'm extremely terrified of both success and failure. What if people look at my work and feel nothing and don't want to buy my services? What if they really like my work and want to buy my services? I will have to answer phone calls. I don't really like phone conversations. What if they freak out about my accent? What if I don't understand something they are telling me? What if I don't perform well? What if my images turn out unsharp? What if my customers don't like me? And I don't have a studio...

 Deep inside I know that all these questions is just a bunch of nonsens: people usually love to be photographed by me, they are comfortable, I find words to make them smile, they really like me, and enjoy looking at the images of them, which I took. Moreover, they print and frame those images, hang them on their walls and recommend me to their friends.

 So what the heck is wrong with me? Why am I afraid? What am I so scared of? To disappoint myself? To fail to create something outstanding every single time I pick up the camera? To see that I'm worse than world renowned professionals I learn from?

 I have a secret, which usually keeps me happy: I don't compare. No comparison leads to no competition, and when you don't compete, you can make friends and cooperate. Win-win situation is the key. Why don't I apply it to my art?

Creative process is so easy for me. I just sit and listen, and imagine, and pick the key words, and meditate on them. That's it! Images just come to my head as unique as the subjects I'm about to photograph. Who needs that though? All they want is to look good and have a nice picture. Why do I make things complicated? 

I also need to differentiate myself and find my niche. I love people, I want to capture their lives. I don't want to limit myself to shooting only one thing. I like maternity, kids, families, love stories, weddings, beautiful portraits of women.... I love telling stories, making people think and feel, showing them their own beauty through my eyes....  Why don't I try to do a bit of everything for a little, so I can find what I enjoy the most?

 - Remember, Luba, your photography is not about making money, it's about making love.
 -  I remember.

 - You can offer something unique, such as a fully customized photo shoot on location. How does that sound?
 - Awesome!

 - Sweet then! Get over it, suck it up and GO! Remember to breathe... I promise, you'll be fine.
 - I'll try...

 - No, you will!!!

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk to blossom."

 Just thought about something: I'm more terrified that my camera is going to fail than my car. Yet, my camera is more expensive than my car (yes, I know:), and there is nothing life threatening about camera fail. Basically, I'm more afraid of my images not turning the way I expect them to see, than I'm afraid of death. How is that?

 This post helped me to look at my fears from the side and truly laugh at them. What's the worst thing, which can happen anyway?
   
 Lol! I'll go upload some more images for the Site:)

 It will be creatureofsunshine.com, when it's ready. How do you like the name?